The following are testimonies from students who have taken A United Front Course:
A few months ago I discovered that my husband of 42 years had been going to see prostitutes (he found them over Craigs List on the internet) and I also discovered that for yeas he had been meeting men at peep shows and committing nasty behavior. I was devastated. My husband was actually discovered in this infidelity by our oldest granddaughter and my daughter who read an e-mail that he left on a computer. Because of the way he was exposed, I did have other members of the family aware of the situation. I would have never wanted to share this type of information with them, but God knew I needed the back-up of my family to help me through. From the beginning, I ask the Lord to help me and show me the action to take. I believed that I had Biblical reasons to divorce my husband, but I kept seeking God because I wanted to make sure I had the best solution ordained by God. As soon as my husband was discovered, he begged for my forgiveness and declared that he hated his secret life and would never do it again. My husband and I each went to Christian counselors. The counselor recommended that I take this course. So, I began the long process of digesting and considering the lesson plans. I took much longer than 60 days, but I continued on. At times in the course I was angry at what I read....I believed that the course misused some scriptures about submission to husbands and took the scriptures out of context. I almost stopped the course several times. My mentor was great and walked me though it all. She counseled me to take the good part of the course and leave the rest. As I continued the course, something great happened to me. I began to see my own sin and failures in our marriage. As I accepted these as my own sin and failure, asked forgiveness and cast them on the Lord, I was free. The course has been a tremendous help to me. As to my husband, I am so thrilled to report that he is a changed man. He has become all that I ever hoped he would be as the spiritual leader of the home. For most of his adult life, he had doubted that there was a God, even though he went to church with me. He now prays daily (alone and he comes and prays for me on his own initiative), he read the Bible daily and shares with me what he reads; he has become a man of God in a way that is truly beyond my expectations. After 42 years of dealing with the stubbornness of his doubt as to the reality of God in our daily lives, I had lost faith that he would change. However, as his sin and sexual addiction advanced to this terrible place where he went to a secret life of illicit sex, where he wallowed in the dregs of life, he reached the end of himself, and he then rose up and was changed completely through the power of God. I must say that he had 3 or 4 slips during the first few months after he decided to change for good. God allowed me to know of these slips each time. They were the hardest thing for me to deal with. Somehow God gave me the grace to go forward and the course helped me see what I should do in the situations. We never separated although we were so close; my husband kept leaving the choice to me but he begged me to let him stay. Anyway, long story made short, God is amazing and His love and compassion never leave us, and His perfect plan has been played out to bring my husband and I up from a firey pit onto steady, solid, ground. My husband and I are closer and happier than we have ever been. This course, and especially my mentor, helped me tremendously. My mentor always seemed to know just what to say to me. I looked forward to hearing from her and checked my e-mail often to see what she had to say. Thank you SCF for this course and program.
My husband and I have been married for 20+ years. We have struggled through many difficult seasons that have grown from his secret sins with pornography. Many times the lies, deceit and self-centeredness about destroyed our family and marriage. Recently, our lives became so full of pressures that whenever we did talk it would end up in an argument. Even though we are Christians, we were both frustrated and wishing we could walk away. I was feeling completely hopeless, worthless, ugly and in dispair. We both agreed something needed to change. I felt stuck, like there was no way to safely share the needs of our marriage with others. Then I heard Mike and Jody Clevelands testimony and knew that their site would offer hope. So, I recommended my husband consider looking on the Setting Captives Free website for help. When my husband enrolled, he shared that they also offered a course for wives and asked me to consider enrolling as well. During most of the study, I battled with expectations and wanting to control the events and changes that were occuring in our marriage. I desired (and was looking for) the same changes that others had shared. It took me a little longer to realize that I needed to COMPLETELY let go and focus on what God wanted from me. God would deal with my husband better than I ever could, I just needed to let go and let Him do it. The greatest thing that the study did for me was turning "my" heart back to Christ and understanding that my freedom and walk with Christ does not depend on my husbands. In that surrender, I have truly found freedom and hope again in Christ. More importantly, I have the tools to continue walking in that freedom. Our marriage is not perfect, and my husband is still struggling with other difficult sin habits, but now I am able to encourage him and love him through them. Thank you Jean and Setting Captives Free.
Hello, my name is Natasja and I can say my heart has been healed by the Lord Jesus Christ through these lessons of Setting Captives Free. It is really amazing what God did in our marriage. I prayed a year ago to the Lord that he would teach me how to be submissive and what it is to be a submissive wife to my husband. Now, I know how I can be a godly wife. I have so much peace in my heart and in our family. I set the tone in the house. I take care of the house with so much more joy! It really changed my focus on my husband. I can fall into sin too, so I must overcome his sin with love, many blessings from the Lord Jesus Christ and I need to speak in a gentle loving tone of voice when he is sinning. I really like the lessons and the way Martha Peace writes her own life down to let us see, that also many woman have to overcome these things together with our Lord Jesus Christ. God bless you all!
My entire life has changed since I first started this course. Initially, I was certain my marriage was over---I wanted it to be over. The heartache and sense of abandonment were seemingly limitless. One of the most difficult aspects of learning about my husband's sexual sin was the feeling of isolation. We had just moved across the country. We didn't know anyone here--family and friends were all 1600 miles away. If I had not found Setting Captives Free, I'm not sure how things would have progressed. You see, when my husband came clean about his sin issues---he felt such an incredible relief. He repented and immediately felt God's love and acceptance. However, my feelings and thoughts were nowhere near that. I was experiencing total devastation, total abandonment, total deception and quite honestly, all I wanted was to pack my daughter up and put as many miles between us and my husband as possible. But ever so slowly, God began a work in my heart. Through this course and especially through the book, "The Excellent Wife," my eyes were opened. I, too, was guilty of sin against the Lord and against my husband. It has been over three months since the "Day of Honesty" and I stand here amazed at God's goodness. The pain was awful, but not fatal. My life was changed forever, but mainly for the best. And I learned deep, dark secrets about my husband, but I have also learned to love him. My husband continues to walk in victory. There are difficult times, but we face these together and we stand united against the enemy. Our daughter even has told us that she's glad this all happened because now she knows about real love and that God can help us through any situation. Setting Captives Free has meant more to me and to my family than I can ever begin to describe. They have taught me and encouraged me and comforted me and, because of this ministry, my life and my relationship with my husband has forever been blessed. Laurie
As a mother of four, and a wife of 11 years who is involved in various ministries, I thought I had a great life. Then I found out about my husbandís addiction to porn (which started even before our marriage) and about his recent infidelity. I could have crumbled. I thought my life was over. Then I saw the Setting Captives Free website endorsed in a book I was reading. At first I thought, "This will help my husband if I take this course." Little did I know it would help me. The book The Excellent Wife was a real eye opener to my part in the marriage relationship. It changed my attitude and help saved my marriage. Thank you, Setting Captives Free, for your ministry. Donít think for a minute that you donít make that much of a difference. Even if it just made a difference in my marriage, it would have been worth it; yet you give many marriages hope and courage to do what is good and right. God bless you. Becky
How do I go back there? There was so much pain, anger, confusion, condemnation and withdrawal . I felt hopeless, scared and knew in my heart that my marriage was over. Then my husband found this website, Setting Captives Free, and began the course, encouraging me to do the same. That was the best decision both of us have ever made (besides marrying each other!). Each day, I began to look forward to the next day's lesson and I started to feel, once again, that hope in the future was possible. The Excellent Wife book, along with the lessons, showed me how badly I had been sinning, all the while condemning my husband for his sins! I had taken my eyes off the Lord and had become completely "Jan" centered. It wasn't easy; my husband and I struggled from day to day, but just being able to come to this site and write out my feelings and my struggles, reading the Bible studies and what the mentors added, began to give me hope and the realization that there is a power bigger than any of our problems that holds the key to our well being. That peace, love, joy and acceptance could be mine through the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ. And, as I read the book I learned day by day what God expects of me as a wife and have to admit, I was blown away by how little of that, if any, I had been doing! In my eyes, I was a good wife and a good Christian. How could someone hurt me like my husband had done and why did he deserve me or my love, and how could I ever trust him again, were the questions that kept swirling around in my head. I thought I was going to lose my mind, all the while searching everything I could pull up on the Internet or read that could help me explain why he was doing the things he was doing. Wasn't I enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, how could this have happened to us? All the while not realizing that God had a plan and that plan was bigger than myself, my husband, or any problem either of us could ever have. I learned that through His blood, I have been forgiven for any sin I have committed and that by His forgiveness of me, I also must forgive my husband. And, by not doing so, I have sinned against Him which is as bad as the sin my husband has committed. WOW! Why is it we can see so clearly the sin of others when God is asking us to work at getting the "beam out of your eye?" Well, I am working at doing just that now and, although I have come a long way since beginning this course, I still have a long ways to go. But, I now have the peace and hope of knowing that through Him I can overcome anything. I work daily at giving blessings to my husband and accepting his strengths right along with his failures, along with being submissive as Christ has asked of me. It isn't always without difficulty, but I am stronger than I was when I began and I know it will become easier as I practice it more. Our marriage is better than it has ever been and this is coming from a "self-centered" woman who looked into her husband's eyes just a few short weeks ago and told him she could never forgive him and that their marriage was over. Thank you, God, for not giving up on me, for forgiving me for my sinfulness, for lending me your strength and direction and for this course for showing me a better way, giving me hope, and opening my eyes to the love, peace and joy that we all have through Jesus Christ! Jan
About eight years ago , I knew something was greatly lacking in my marriage of 22 years and I began praying for deeper intimacy with my husband. If I had known how God would answer this prayer, I might have run, but God's ways are always best. Then, about three years ago, my life was shattered when I saw my husband looking at pornography on the Internet. I was devastated and terribly confused about what to do and who to turn to, especially as my husband was a pastor. I wish now that I had known about Setting Captives Free but, again, God's ways are best. My husband seemed very repentant and told me he had turned from his sin. We eventually received counseling and our marriage began to deepen, with a new level of intimacy. I thought everything was fine. But then, five months ago, I found out that my husband was still deeply involved in sexual sin. This time, God brought him to the end of himself, broke him, and brought him to true repentance. Almost immediately, my husband enrolled in The Way of Purity course at Setting Captives Free. (He had known about this course for a long time but had never enrolled in it, knowing that he was still involved in sin and would be held accountable.) God began to use the course and the Scripture it contained in a powerful way in my husband's life, and he told me about the United Front course for spouses. I had read the book, The Excellent Wife, years before and wasn't sure what God had for me in the course, but I went ahead and started it anyway. What I didn't know was that I had yet to learn the full extent of my husband's sin. This would cause great pain, and God knew that I would need the support of a godly friend and the knowledge that I was not alone to carry me through this time. God provided this through my mentor, Meril, a wonderful woman of God, for whom I am deeply grateful. Also, reading through other women's testimonies each day of the course and focusing on what I could do to be the wife God wanted me to be helped me so much. My husband is now walking in radiant sexual purity, he has a hunger for God and His Word that amazes me, and our marriage is becoming far more intimate than I ever dreamed possible. Thank you, Setting Captives Free, and thank You, God! -- Cheryl
My husband confessed to me nearly one year ago that he was addicted to pornography. This blind-sided me, because I truly had no idea. The hurt was so deep and so completely overwhelming. Through this study and reading The Excellent Wife, I realized how I had depended on my husband to fill the void in my life that only God can fill. I had really made him an idol. God is showing me to rest in Him and how to love my husband through such a difficult time for both of us. Although it has not been an enjoyable trial, I thank God for the changes He has made in my life through it. I donít know if I would have ever fully realized how I was trying to fill the God-shaped void in my heart with my husband, if I had not gone through this trial. Our marriage is so much better today than it has ever been! We pray together and communicate on a much deeper level. I am so thankful that God is working to free my husband from this addiction, but am equally thankful that He is now truly my focus and who I trust in. He is so good to me!!!! Tammi
The first lesson made me cry so hard, as so much pain flowed out of my heart along with bitterness (I did not recognize it as bitterness at the time) against my husband because of the misery we went through, due to his sin. This course had stirred up my heart. At the beginning of the course, I was at the point where I did not really desire intimacy with my husband. This was not purposeful, but a natural consequence of years of sin and feeling totally inadequate. There were many times I feared his arrival home, wondering what mood he was going to be in and how I was going to appease it. I prayed and prayed with bitter tears pleading with God for change. I would bury the pain, which would result in it resurfacing at various other times, thus the cycle would go on. As I was praying for years over the situation with my husband, God did not seem to hear. I would try not to think about how far our relationship strayed from the biblical standard. I was bitter against my husband because of the lost years, and the fact that our children were getting older and growing up in an unpleasant atmosphere, oftentimes. Many of my aspirations for my family at the time were almost gone. I had pictured a home of laughter, joy, and service to God, but we were miserable often and practically turning into hermits as a family, except for Sundays. The day that I did my first lesson, I had everything neatly buried in my heart. Then the tears and pain surfaced once again. When my husband saw that this course was causing the pain to resurface, he was greatly concerned that it was going to stir things up in me that might not be good for our relationship. He was already involved in the Way of Purity course and greatly benefiting from it. He had encouraged me to do the United Front course to come along side of him in his battle against sin. The course not only brought the pain to the surface for me, but helped me deal with it. It is like a wound (my heartís sorrow and bitterness) being gangrene and God cutting it open, cleaning it out and sewing it back up so that it can heal properly. It was NOT a fun process. I now have no sorrow though! The "surgery" was a success. The past still aches once in awhile when I think about it, because it seems like we lost so much time, but God reminds me that we gained so much more through the situation. He CAN "restore the years that the locusts have eaten" and the fact that He is sovereign and good, and just and holy are enough for me to grasp onto for dear life. He has proven Himself by already making incredible changes in my husband who has been free from the sin of ography for seven months, (doesnt even crave it), in me by giving me the ability to forgive and deeply love again, desiring intimacy, continuing to grow in me a deeper desire to be holy, and causing our marriage to become sweeter. God does change people, ladies. I know that it is hard for all of you to grasp who are in the starting process of this course, but God is a God of change and grace and mercy. James 1:2 says, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." God really is awesome!!! He is actively growing us to become more like Him! I have a strong desire now to fear God and serve Him diligently. I am more content with where God has placed me in life and realize that the fear of man has been my driving force for years. It has been the reason for much of my anger, frustration, and the neglect of my bodyís need for rest, and proper diet for years. It is amazing what fear can do. I always knew that I struggled with the fear of man, but I had no idea of how great a hold on my life it controlled. I thank Martha Peaceís book for showing me that. I now love to be close to my husband and hear him talk. It is like when we were dating all over again. I long for my husband to come home at the end of the day, instead of fearing his mood. I enjoy being with him and our children notice that things are different in the home. God is working in their lives, as well, showing them their sins. Because of the ministry of SCF we would really like to go through the mentoring classes and hop on board with SCF. We want to help others the way they have helped us. I would like to say that we have perfected our walk with God, but we still have many things that we are working through. Now that my husband is on his way to maturing in Christ, God is turning to me more and showing me the overwhelming amount of sin in my life that needs to be dealt with. My mentor, Bonnie, has been a wonderful and convicting source through all of this. I did not always hear what I wanted to, but it did challenge me. I appreciate her constant prayers and encouragement. The ministry of SCF is growing, not because of anything that they are doing, but because of what God is doing through them. They fear the Lord (Proverbs 8:13) and Proverbs 31:30b-31a says that "a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands." Thank You, SCF, for your faithfulness and obedience to Godís Word. May God continue to give you the fruit of your hands as you continue to fear and serve Him. Amy
I am a 27 year old woman, married almost 6 years, and mother of 4. I had always thought that my marriage was a good one, not perfect, but good. My husband and I had really grown in our theology and doctrine together, and felt that the majority of our growth in Christ had happened within our marriage. Last summer, I discovered that my husband had been chatting online and on the phone with another woman. He had also been delving in pornography online for the duration of our relationship. There had been no physical contact, but there had been self-gratification taking place. I was out of town at the time. When I discovered this, I felt completely devastated. I could no longer trust my husband, we had 3 small children, and my world was shattered. Thankfully, God gave me the strength to trust in Him and His sovereignty, and my marriage was restored...or so I thought. This past May, once again, I discovered my husbandís infidelity. He was chatting and browsing porn online again. My world fell apart for the second time in less than a year. I didnít know what to do. It was at this time that my husband started the Setting Captives Free course on sexual purity. He recommended to me that I also take the United Front course. I started the course a couple of days after his sin was exposed. I am so thankful, and just blown away at the way God has used this course to restore my husband to faithfulness. I can honestly say that I have never seen such a change in my husband as I have seen in him since he began taking the Setting Captives Free course. I was never aware of how disgusting his thought life had been for the entire time I had known him....and through the grace of God, he has been set free from Satanís grasp on his mind. Our marriage is more open than it ever has been. I look at the way God has caused growth in my life over the past few months, and I am in awe. The United Front course has opened my eyes to the sin issues in my own life, and with Godís help, I am becoming the wife that God has always intended that I become. We can never know why things happen the way they do. The pain that I have felt throughout the past year is something that I wish no one else would ever have to feel. I take comfort that God allowed things to happen the way they did, though. He has caused my marriage and my faith to become stronger, and He has brought Himself glory in the process. Shannon
Itís a little hard for me to write this testimony, because I have to dig back through my thoughts to remember why it is that I even took this course. ~CarrieAnn My husband of five years, my most treasured friend, the one I thought had it all figured out, confessed to me that he was addicted to pornography. I was totally crushed. I had no idea! Not even a clue as to what was going on, and I think that was probably one of the hardest things for me. I was hurt, angry, scared and. most of all, I felt completely useless, like I had failed him in some way. He was so sorry, and was afraid that I would leave him, which seemed silly to me because I knew that I will never divorce him! I told him over and over again that I wouldnít leave him and, while I knew that was true, I was dying inside because of my hurt. My husband had found the Setting Captives Free website and was already doing The Way of Purity course. He strongly encouraged me to go to the site to check out the United Front course. I was hesitant at first, because I was still pretty upset. But I thought that if I had somewhere to go, where someone knew about what I was going through, maybe I would have a chance to heal. I didnít have the opportunity to have a mentor, but I kept the course up anyway. It really helped me to have a place to write down my thoughts and vent my feelings as I didnít talk to anyone about this for a long time. The book "The Excellent Wife" was wonderful. I encourage all of my married friends to read it now! I am definitely going to continue my relationship with Setting Captives Free because I really believe in what they are doing and hope to one day be a part of it. My husband has been free for over six months and our relationship has honestly been better than ever! I didnít even think that was possible. But God has been so good, and I am grateful for His faithfulness in our lives.
I only wish there had been a course like this 35 years ago for both my husband and me. When I first learned about my husbandís homosexuality, I was a young mother, and totally naive as to what it was all about. My husband was in the ministry when he shared his struggle with me, so I basically had no one to run to. He WAS my pastor. We had moved back to the small community where I had grown up and, because everybody knew everybody, I felt too embarrassed to say a word to anyone. I didnít really have a clue as to what I should do, so I just kept on trying to keep up a happy front when really I was so sad, perplexed, lonely, and wished, at times, to die on the inside. Many of the things covered in this course were areas God had already healed me of, simply through years of crying out to him and allowing him to search my heart. I am almost 60 years old now, and there have been many tears because of emotional pain, disappointment in counselors and even other pastors who meant well, but werenít able to help, either. For me, it was either seek the Lord with my whole heart and prove him true to his word, or die! Well, truly the Lord lives and so do I! Not one word of his good promise has failed me! The wonderful thing about this course is that I could still learn things (we are never too old to learn). But, it also was an incredible confirmation in my life that indeed Godís ways are Godís ways and always will be. Looking back over the years, I can only praise him for his faithfulness to me when I felt like throwing in the towel. What Marthaís book teaches is absolutely true, and I praise God that Iím still married to the same man I pledged my marriage vows to and yet, he is totally different because of the Setting Captives Free course for homosexuals. It is so important for the wife to be free of bitterness, self-pity and resentment. I cannot say enough good about this course. May many come to freedom!
When I came to Setting Captives Free, my life and my marriage were shattered by my husbandís sinful choices. He had dug a pit and had gotten trapped in it. In the pit, he was blind, and thought everyone else was wrong. The pit of pornography is a "secret" sin. However, the devastating effects on our family were obvious: a husband and father who was aloof, selfish, secretive, angry and uninvolved in our family. I knew something was desperately wrong, but didnít know what it was. The day I found out what "IT" was, was the most devastating day of my life. Little did I know, it was also the beginning of something good.
In my desperate search for help, I found The Way of Purity course at Setting Captives Free. My husband agreed to take it. I knew I needed something to help me get through this terribly dark time in my life, and discovered A United Front. I was comforted by the letters and testimonies of other wives who had gone through what I was facing. I knew, firsthand, the hurts they faced. The compassion and hope found in Jodyís responses drew me in. This was a lady who really knew God. I wanted to be where she was. Little did I know how much God would use A United Front to open my own eyes. I had read the book, The Excellent Wife about four years earlier, but this time there was something different. There is something about this course, and being accountable, that transformed me. I realized how much I needed to change. Bitterness, anger, and wrong, unbiblical thinking were all sins in my own heart. Before this course, all I could see was my husbandís sin. I thought his sin was so horrible that it far outweighed any "little" sins I might have. Besides, I was justified in being angry and hurt. Oh, how wrong I was. I learned that God doesnít like my sin, either, and I needed to change.
Little by little God used the courses to transform both of us. As I followed what He said and implemented the Biblical principles outlined in the United Front course and my husband did the same in The Way of Purity course, our lives started to change. We confessed our sin to God and to each other. We recommitted our lives to God and to each other. We humbled ourselves to God and to each other. Our love for God and each other grew and grew.
Today, if you would see us, you wouldnít recognize us from who we were. God has transformed us. He has restored the "years the locusts have eaten." Those empty, famine-type years have been replaced with a fruitful garden. I love and respect my husband more than ever before. He loves and cherishes me as never before. He is no longer aloof, angry and uninvolved. I am no longer bitter, hurt and angry. We care about each other, pray earnestly for one another, and take a deep interest in each otherís lives. My husband is now sacrificing his time, his life, for me and for our family. He is giving and gentle and kindhearted. I praise God for these courses. He has used them to open the eyes of two "blind" people and set us free! Thank you God! Thank you, Setting Captives Free!
"When I first found Setting Captives Free, I was absolutely broken. I had discovered that my husband was having an affair. Two months later, I discovered his involvement with Internet porn and sex chat rooms. I was devastated and contemplated suicide. But God has blessed me with three precious children, and I knew I couldnít do that to them. My husband was repentant, but without hope. He said every time he tried to stop, he would have victory for a few months and then it would draw him back in again. He said he needed help. That is when God lead me to Setting Captives Free. My husband and I began the courses. In the beginning, I was casting all blame for any marital problems on my husband. I thought I was a submissive wife. God has opened my eyes to so many things. I was not an excellent wife. I was manipulative, sarcastic, and disrespectful. By Godís grace, and the Holy Spiritís conviction, I have been changed! I began putting my husbandís wants and desires before my own. I concentrated on giving him a blessing no matter how much I was hurting. I wish I could say I was perfect, but I am still a work in progress. Our marriage has become so precious to both my husband and me. I pray daily for my husband to remain strong and pure, but even if he does not, my life has been changed forever. I know that God will be right beside me, no matter how terrible the storm. He will take my trials and mold me into what He wants me to be if I stay focused on Him."
"Before I started the United Front course, I was at my witís end, and I didnít know what to do. My husband had struggled with pornography for many years. I found out before we were married, but he told me he would stop, and I thought that getting married would help. I was so wrong. Throughout our five years of marriage, I continued to find that he still struggled. Every time I confronted him, he said he wanted to stop, and would do so for a little while, but he would ultimately slip back into the sin. I was completely devastated and couldnít believe how God could let something like this happen to me. I was angry and bitter and wanted out. My husband was directed by a friend to the Setting Captives Free course, and decided to do it. He told me about the spouseís course, and I decided to give it a try. I thought that it would teach me how to deal with my "husbandís" problem. Little did I know that it would really teach me about my own problems. I have learned so much about what God really wants from me and that I have fallen short. I realized that it wasnít just my husbandís problem that was making my life miserable. I was sinning, too. Throughout the course, I have learned about various areas of sin in my life, and how important it is for my relationship with God to be my priority. My husband has completed his course and remains free, and I have repented of my sins, also. We have drawn closer together, and are able to share with each other more openly. Our marriage is not perfect, but it is now on the right track, thanks to Setting Captives Free. Praise the Lord that He got our attention though this course and brought us back to Him and each other."
"Since my husbandís accomplishing The Way of Purity course, I have seen a drastic change in his life. He is such a godly husband and has become much more patient with me, for example. He used to have what we called an "addiction" to pornography and self-gratification. Now I see it wasnít so much an addiction, or at least not one that couldnít be overcome, as it was a problem of not "reckoning" that he was "dead to sin" and "alive to Christ." Praise God, he has not used pornography for about nine months, and he is currently serving the Lord as a mentor to other guys who are struggling with sexual sin. The Lord has truly changed his life. He has not only become victorious over his sin of pornography, he has also become much more concerned with godliness in general. He truly is a new person. This is wonderfully freeing for me, as one might imagine, as I am no longer afraid of when he may next use it, and I no longer feel that I have to worry when I go out somewhere, for he has practiced ways of steering clear of what he has decided not to be involved in while I am not present. I just want to praise the Lord for the fact that victory really is possible, and Christ truly is the answer for every sin problem, whether an "addiction" or not. We have been finding Him all-sufficient."
And Rochelle says, "Thank you for this course. Actually, thank you for this website. If my husband had not stumbled upon it, I don't know where we would be today. You are a tremendous blessing. I continue to pray Gods blessings on each of you connected to this wonderful ministry."
Setting Captives Free has many mentors that work with us, volunteers who enjoy assisting others to freedom in Christ. Joy is a mentor candidate who has finished A United Front mentorship course, and is now requesting to become a mentor with Setting Captives Free:
I would like to apply to be a mentor for the United Front course. I recently completed this course, and have gone through the 21-day mentorship course. I would like to encourage other women as I have been encouraged here. I came to this course broken, bitter and distrustful. After discovering my husband's sexual impurity, I had lost my joy and I felt like I was being tormented by the lies of the enemy. As a result, I was robbing my children of quality time. I was so busy listening to the lies and running over the situation in my head, that I was not giving them the attention they needed. I was deeply hurt and that hurt was manifesting itself in anger and bitterness toward my husband. At that time, I found it difficult to have respect for him and to submit to him.
I continued to remain close to God, but I didnt know where to begin. I needed someone to show me the way. I remembered reading an article regarding Internet pornography in Today's Christian Woman. I went to their website and found the address of your website. I initially looked at it as a resource for my husband, but God showed me that I was going to need help, too. I did not like who I became in the days following my discovery and I wanted to be healed of the brokenness that I felt. After reading a few testimonies, and being contacted by my mentor, Bethany, I was in awe. They spoke of hope and healing, two things that were elusive to me at the time. There was a part of me that didnt believe it could be true, but that did not stop me from wanting it.
Throughout the United Front Course I learned about forgiveness, grace, true submission, about my responsibility as a wife and how I was created to bring honor to my husband. The Spirit convicted me of many things, and I realized that though my husband had sinned against me, there were ways that I had sinned against him. I realized that there are no degrees of sin, sin is sin. My bitterness began to melt away, and I began to have a repentant heart and to see the grace and forgiveness that God has given me and that I needed to extend to my husband. I also learned about idols in my life. While I didn't think I had any, God showed me that my husband was an idol in my life, my children, but most of all my expectations of them and the way I wanted to be treated was a terrible idol in my life. One of my greatest lessons was that, instead of putting all of my hope and trust in these things, I needed to trust in him. My security and hope had to come from Him.
The things I learned at Setting Captives Free changed the way I look at life. It opened my eyes to who God wants me to be as a wife and to how I can best support and encourage my husband to a deeper relationship with God. My skepticism that there could be healing and hope beyond the discovery of sin has vanished. I now believe that through God's word there is healing and restoration. I long to share that with others. I remember the pain that I felt in the beginning, and if I could help even one woman to move beyond that pain into the healing that God has for her, I would be so blessed! I believe that God allowed me to go through this experience for a reason. I don't think I fully understand that reason yet, but I pray that I can start here at Setting Captives Free mentoring women into a deeper relationship with Him, into freedom from bitterness and into a life of healing and wholeness. Thank you for your consideration and for your faithful stewardship of such a wonderful ministry. It has enriched my life.
Sherry, in her application to be a mentor with A United Front, wrote...
Dear SCF staff:
My mentor is Ginna. I completed the "United Front" study a few
weeks ago. I would like to request to be a mentor to other women going
through the same struggles I went through after learning of my husband's sin
of pornography, masturbation and immorality.
At the beginning of the study, I was a bitter, self-centered, angry
woman. I selfishly allowed my anger at my husband's sin to filter down into
just about every area of our marriage. Although my husband had completed the
Way of Purity course and had also become a mentor, I refused to believe he
had really changed. I looked for every sign I had seen in the past and
constantly thought that he would drop another PMI bombshell on me at any
When I wasn't focused on being angry with my husband, I was mad at God.
How dare He allow this? My husband was preparing for ministry!
When I wasn't angry with my husband or God, I was angry with others.
How dare they ever tell me I'm wrong! I'm perfect or can't they see that I
try so hard to be perfect?
When I wasn't angry with anyone else, I was angry with myself. How dare
I mess up my husband's life, my children's lives or my life by my
imperfection at marriage? What did I do that made my husband behave so
My husband told me about the United Front study. I put off going to the
website until the Holy Spirit made it impossible for me to stay away. PRAISE
GOD! He finally got through to me through the study on "The Excellent Wife,"
through His precious Word and through the loving advice from Ginna. I truly
wanted change when I logged in the first time, but I needed a loving,
biblical swat on the behind.
Finally, I decided that I wanted to please God more than pleasing myself
or anybody else. That made a difference in my Christian walk, the way I
speak, the way I act and the way I think about things now. I was a Christian
before, but so many of the concepts I learned were things that had gone over
my head or that I never knew.
And what Christ has taught me has filtered down into so many areas of
my life. I'm beginning to experience victory in the area of my weight, where
my sins of gluttony and slothfulness have enslaved me for so many years.
Because of what I read in the study, and in God's Word, I resigned from my
job so that I can be the godly wife and mother I believe God wants me to be
If you choose to have me as a mentor, I would be honored. If you choose
to deny my application, I still say "Thank you" for what the Setting Captives Free site has
meant to my marriage and to me personally. Sherry