A United Front

Feedback from Graduates of A United Front.

When I was five months pregnant with my now four-year-old son, I discovered thousands of hardcore pornographic videos on my computer. At the time, I was working two jobs and my husband was frequently home in the evenings before I was. He and I had only been married for 18 months at the time. I was devastated, hurt and humiliated. It was at the point of my pregnancy when I was feeling "fat" and "ugly" and "unlovable" and I was looking at so many seemingly perfect women - it destroyed my belief in myself and my respect for my husband. In desperation I begged him to stop; I wanted confirmation that he loved me and thought that I was beautiful - unfortunately, I never received that confirmation from him. Over the last four years we have had that battle over and over again. He'd abstain for a little while from the porn and self-gratification and things would get a little better, but it never lasted long. Each time I was driven deeper and deeper into the pit of despair and hopelessness. I cried out to God, "Why is this happening to me? What is so wrong with me that he'd choose that fake imagery over being with me, as his wife?" I tried everything to get and keep his attention, I constantly pursued him physically and tried to meet any need he seemed to have, but was rejected over and over again. After the birth of my daughter, we hit rock bottom and I was ready to leave him. He couldn't give up the porn and had accelerated into seeking out other women for phone conversations, sexual emails and flirtations. I felt that there was nothing left to even fight for anymore. I felt worthless and hopeless and unlovable. Fortunately, God has a plan in all things, my brother called me from medical school when he found out that I was planning on leaving my husband. He told me that he'd struggled with porn and self-gratification for several years through high school and college and that there was a course to help men return to purity. My husband didn't want me to leave, and seemed desperate to do anything to work things out, despite his constant return to porn. He enrolled in The Way of Purity course with my brother and father as his mentors. In that time I began reading a book on the subject and was amazed to find out that I wasn't the first wife to have such a spiritual battle in her home. He told me that there was a partner course for the wives called United Front and I was eager to do something other then just pray for him and wait. What I found in that course was so much more then I'd expected - I saw myself clearly for the first time and was able to start working on healing myself through the grace of God and start creating a more loving, respectful, peaceful home environment for our newly emerging family. We'd lived under the shadow of sin for so long that it was amazing the blessings that started raining down on us when we were able to genuinely ask one another for forgiveness and pray together for healing and support. The changes in our home are truly amazing, but more amazing is that all of the anger, bitterness and resentment that I felt towards him for the years of hurt. The pain that I never thought would go away have left my heart completely. I praise God every day that my husband is part of our lives and that he is finally fulfilling his role as spiritual and physical head of our home. The love that has been restored between the two of us is precious beyond all treasure and I truly believe that none of this would have happened without the Setting Captives Free team. Thank you all for what you do, and praise God who can heal all wounds and make all creatures new in His eternal love. Angie

I was shocked when my husband confessed, for the first time many years ago, his problem with pornography and self-gratification. I do not think I realized it was an addiction. I really took it personally, and felt hurt and rejected by him. He encouraged me to really express how it was hurting me, but he assured me that it had nothing to do with me, personally, and his attraction to me or continuing love for me. I really struggled with how that could true. Over time, though, I started to understand the truth of that (which helped me a lot) but neither of us realized how much it was actually affecting our relationship and lack of closeness and openness together. I know I desired more of both of those, but just assumed it was his personality. He has always had a hard time being close with anyone. Now we both see that it was probably because of this sin of impurity. Taking The Way of Purity course has been a HUGE help to my husband and has enabled to him to start to walk free from this sin. He has realized, too, how much this has actually been hindering his ministry to others through his spiritual gift of teaching. It has been wonderful for me to see the man I love gaining liberty through the ministry of Setting Captives Free and the Word of God used much in this course. A United Front has been really helpful to me in realizing that I had my own sin of gluttony to deal with. Through The United Front and The Lord's Table courses, God has really helped me to open my heart and ask Him to work on the idols, the pride and the other garbage that needed to be exposed to the light, confessed and forsaken. Our marriage is undergoing some great changes, even after 31 years, and we look forward to the restoration of some years the locusts have eaten. God is so good and we truly thank Him for bringing Setting Captives Free to our attention. God Bless you all there and a special thank you to Nikki, my mentor, for staying with me through this journey. God bless you all there, we will pray for you and hope to be a part of your team, in time. Judy

I came to Setting Captives Free after finding out that my husband was in an inappropriate relationship with a co-worker and then ultimately finding out that he did have an affair with her. Through the Setting Captives Free course, I was able to work on the aspects that needed to be changed in my own life and to give my husband's sin over to the Lord and let him deal with the sin and my husband. During the course, my husband ended up leaving me and my four girls, but God is good. Through this course, I had an excellent support system (Nikki was my mentor) and was able to see that God has a purpose for my life. I don't know what the future holds for my family, but I know that something good will come out this situation and, when my husband comes back, I have learned the tools I need for a very successful marriage. Brenda

This has truly been a very exciting journey for my husband and me! Setting Captives Free changed our way of thinking and how we looked at the sexual sin that had enveloped my husband's life. This was a Godsend for us, and we can't wait to do another and another Bible study online. For 22 years, sexual sin has been a part of our relationship and I can look back now and honestly say that it is a thing of the past for us. My husband has struggled so much with this, hurting me and our family over and over. What I didn't realize until now was how much I needed to work on myself and how I was looking at our situation. Setting Captives Free helped me give my God the glory in all things and to become closer in my walk with Him while going through another storm in our marriage. My husband is FREE of sexual sin and I am FREE of all the hurts and pains that come along with it! To God be the Glory! To find this website and do this study, was definitely the Lord's will for our lives. Celeste

Wow... this has been for me a life-changing experience. Coming from "how am I going to survive this" to having "a marriage that is incredible" and from being a very aggressive person to who I am now - THAT IS A MIRACLE. God has and is giving me the knowledge on how to fight back in a righteousness way. Don't get me wrong, I do have days where I'm feeling down, but what I do now is I pray for help to overcome and it doesn't take long after that before God answers my prayer. I want to thank my wonderful mentor, Helga, for being there always at the right time and for Setting Captives Free. Thank God for this blessing. My husband has still a couple more weeks on his study The Way of Purity. He is in the Army and is going trough a school right now that needs all his attention. He did let his mentor know that as soon his school is finished he will finish his study. My husband did repent right away when I found out of his sin, which did make it a bit easier on me. We are renewing our vows to each other and to God, I'm very excited about that. Again, thank you all so much for being there in a time where I thought my life had no more meaning. God bless you all. Yolanda

This course has been amazing. When I started it, I was very angry at my husband and God, and I was overwhelmed with pain. Through the lessons, I was able to forgive my husband and to let go of the anger and pain. I saw my own sins toward God and really wanted to have a deep relationship with him. I realized that I needed to be a great wife for God and that everything I did and said needed to glorify God. My marriage is healing, and now we have the tools to make our marriage great, day by day. Donna

I first began this course as a last resort. My husband had just told me the depth of his addiction to pornography and self-gratification, and it rocked my world. He had told me before we got married that he had struggled with pornography in the past, but that he had an accountability partner and it was no longer an issue. Never having had exposure to anything like this before, I thought that was that, and gave it very little thought. During the next three years of our marriage, we argued often and there was definitely something not quite right with our ability to be vulnerable with and trust each other. Then came the news that his addiction never really went away, but he had been fighting a losing battle. My first reactions were anger, bitterness, and intense self-pity. Why had God let this happen to me? My mother-in-law had sent us the Setting Captives Free website the same day his addiction came into the open. What a Godsend! We both latched on to it as the last hope for a God-honoring and fulfilling marriage. I started A United Front with the selfish mindset that I was going to learn techniques to help my husband through his addiction. The coursework turned out to be so much richer! Thankfully, the focus was on removing the beam in my own eye first! Martha Peace's book, The Excellent Wife, lead me to examine my own dark and secret places which I had never faced before. The first portion of the book is about submission, a hot topic for me. I thought that I was biblically submissive to my husband, because I didn't buy expensive things without asking him first. But I discovered that I was acting in a completely disrespectful manner and my resentment was poisoning our marriage and me. I learned that much of the unhappiness I had been experiencing in the marriage was due to my non-God-honoring, selfish attitudes and perceptions. I had to admit that a lot of my anger came from wanting my husband to be perfect instead of turning to the Lord to fill me up. I thank God for this course and the way He has used it to soften my heart for Him and for my husband. It is now my daily focus to honor Him by joyfully showing kindness, love, and respect to my husband. (Thank you God!) It is such a freeing and peaceful experience! I recommend this course to the women in my life for the joy and freedom it brings. Thank you, Setting Captives Free! Kate

I married my best friend. We shared so much of our hearts before getting romantically involved, including my husband's struggle with pornography. Together we prayed, threw out his TV, and committed to purity. About half a year later, he asked me to marry him. I gladly agreed. I found out about a week later that he had been looking at pornography again. I was absolutely devastated. I considered breaking off our engagement but, with his promise to seek help, the accountability of a friend for my husband, and my belief that I could satisfy my husband's sexual needs, we did get married. Through the next three years, we had times when everything seemed okay but, every few months, I would discover some evidence of my husband looking at pornography. I would confront him and he would repent and try some new group or accountability system. Each time this occurred, however, my trust in him eroded. I began to withdraw emotionally from my husband and to seek my solace in food. Four months ago, we had another relapse and I insisted that we go to counseling together. Our counselor directed us to Setting Captives Free. I started immediately, but it wasn't until my husband saw the material that I was working on, and the commitment of my mentor that he began the course. We have both completed our courses, and have found a deepening in our relationship and a renewed fervor for the Lord. I have been convicted of my sin in the areas of submission, selfishness and overeating and am seeking Gods help to honor Him in all I do. Thank you to my mentor, Nikki, for your prayers, patience, encouragement and wisdom. God bless! Carolyn

I remember shortly after my husband started the purity course, he shared with me the extent of his sin. I didn’t know it was so bad. He asked me to help him, and told me he thought we should get rid of our TV, some videos, and that I needed to lock up my exercise videos, because that was a temptation for him. I remember not being able to respond. "Exercise videos?" I thought it was just the computer that was a problem. My husband was humbly asking me to help him overcome this sin, and I couldn’t say a word. I left the room and cried. As is my tendency, I wanted to avoid this painful truth. I decided to check my email and not think about it. I thought, "I just won’t talk to him for awhile." I was mad at Satan, and at him for sinning (I know that doesn’t make sense). As I turned on the Internet, I knew I couldn’t avoid the problem. So, in my anger, I remembered my husband had mentioned there was a spouse class, and I signed up. I did the first class and thought, "Wow, this is what I need." I looked ahead and saw that the first few classes dealt with my issues; bitterness, anger, betrayal, etc. Then I saw that the remainder of the class went through The Excellent Wife. A book I had already read and owned, but felt that it was too high of a standard for me to reach yet. I started reading the book, and it was different this time. Instead of being hard-hearted about what Martha Peace said, I found myself asking God to change me into the woman described in the book. I began implementing the teachings from the lessons, and I started to change. I became submissive, and did what my husband asked, even when he wasn’t around! I wasn’t like that before. I sought to love him and care for him. I became more humble, and willingly supported my husband in his fight with purity. I saw how my support really helped my husband and we began to grow closer. Now, we have both grown spiritually, and are closer than before. God has given me soberness about my husband’s sin. It wasn’t about me, (as I had thought) it was about his relationship with God, and it is my job to help my husband grow closer to God. My husband has been free from pornography and self-gratification for over two months now! He has grown spiritually and is becoming the husband God has for him to be. I am becoming the wife God wants, and I now know that by God’s grace I can implement the truths I have learned in this class and we will have a good God-centered marriage. Grace

I never thought that the Lord would love my husband and me so much that He would enable an awesome team of special people to create "The Setting Captives Free United Front Course" just for us. I realize that others have been blessed by this awesome ministry as well, but I believe that it was by design that we found out about this course. While taking the United Front Course, I have learned the depth of the dark areas of sin in my heart and how much my sinful behavior had hurt my husband, my marriage, and my Savior. Although I was supportive of the many efforts that my husband has tried to stop sinning sexually, it was only on the outside. Deep inside I continued to harbor evil, bitter, angry, destructive ungodly thoughts that were anything but honorable or respectful toward my husband. I now realize that my husband’s sin with pornography was no greater then my disrespect toward him and that both were wrong and sinful to our God. I yearn to be the excellent wife that I learned about and had to choose to put forth godly actions with my desire. After fourteen years of fighting against this sexual demon, my husband and I have finally gained the victory in Christ Jesus and are walking it out day by day. He is now six months porn free after completing the Way of Purity Course, and I have started walking out the excellent wife skills I learned through this course. This has been the best 60 days I have ever invested in my marriage, and we have begun to reap the rewards from the Lord. I am excited about becoming a mentor with Setting Captives Free, and so is my husband. If the Lord allowed this challenge to enter our marriage it was to grow us up in Him; it was to strengthen us and for us to use this experience and what we have learned in it to help to strengthen other couples. God has already begun to place couples in our path who are in a place of hopelessness, just as we were. I am excited about what God has already started to do through us, now, since we are a united front and are fit to serve the kingdom of God. We both have fallen in love with Jesus and each other again, and are thankful that He gave us a second change to get our relationships right with Him first and then with each other. Thank you, Setting Captives Free for your obedience to the Lord when you started this awesome ministry that has changed my heart, renewed my mind, my life and my marriage. To God be the glory for the great things that only He could have done. Dana

On the day when I stumbled upon Setting Captives Free website, I had little hope in my life . My marriage was on the rocks and I didn't know where to turn. I have been a Christian for about ten years and yes, I did cry out to God for help. I believe he sent me to this site for the help I so desperately needed. My husband was having thoughts of being with one of my best friends, and I was devastated. I had heard a lot about sexual addictions, but never really knew what they were. After reading some of the testamonies, I thought maybe this was our problem. I signed up to take the United Front class and it has changed my life. I also ask my husband to sign up for Setting Captives Free, and he agreed to do so. Our marriage is better now than it ever was and God is doing a true work in both of our lives. I would just like to say a big thank you to the staff at Setting Captives Free for all their hard work and for following the call God has placed on their lives. Shelly

When I started this course, my husband's sin problem was looming huge in my mind, dominating my thoughts and emotions. He was seeking counsel through our pastor at church, but I was desperately in need of some way to sort out my own issues and find some heart-healing. The United Front course has helped me tremendously. Just knowing that many other women have gone through this and found hope, strength, and healing was an encouragement to me. I had already been reading "The Excellent Wife" book before this, but appreciated the opportunity to go through it in more detail and to be reminded of God's way of resolving problems (vs. my own way). My husband is now taking the lead in our family and initiating prayer time every day, and has successfully completed his course at Setting Captives Free, too. We are both thankful that God has done His saving work in our marriage. I am better prepared for challenges that may happen in the future and I am putting into practice the godly ways to love my husband and our Lord. This course is a blessing, and I pray that other hurting wives will come here and be blessed, too! Michelle

My husband and I went down this sexual purity road twice before my husband finally called it quits with his sin. He had been dabbling in online porn, self-gratification, and looking at other woman our whole marriage. It has been devastating, to be honest. This year on my birthday, he tearfully told me he had one more gift for me - it was the book The Excellent Wife with a card telling me he wanted to present himself pure and holy for the first time. He had found Setting Captives Free on the computer and wanted to enroll that night with me as his partner through this. I was, of course, thrilled that he wanted to do something about it but very hesitant if this time would stick. We signed up that night and things started to change. My husband had never been able to talk to me about his sexual immorality, as it has always been a taboo subject. It still is a hard subject to talk about, but Setting Captives Free has made it clear that he needs to talk to me and has given some pointers on how to do this. The big difference between Setting Captives Free and the other two times my husband tried to repent was that Setting Captives Free is a biblical approach to radically amputating sexual immorality from his life completely - not just giving him tools to change his behaviors, but giving him a Savior to change his heart!! Our marriage has changed for the better and I know that it will continue to grow stronger every day. I used to always try to fix my husband and his sin, but now I know that only God can do that. God is in complete control and He has allowed us to go through this to purify us and make our marriage better. United Front has opened my eyes to be a better wife, a better mother and will continue to help me through the years. Traci

I am very excited to be a part of Setting Captives Free. My reason to come through this study was selfish and prideful in the beginning. I wanted to mentor other women - to glorify me and not God. However, once I began going through the lessons, God changed my heart motives. I still want to mentor other women, but now it is to love them God’s way and to help them back to a right relationship with God. I watch my husband humble himself in this ministry. Time and time again he is thanked for leading men to freedom and time and time again he tells them it was God that led them to freedom, and not him. He gives all the credit to Christ. I am so in awe of what God has done in my husband’s life and the lives of the men he loves, through Setting Captives Free. My prayer is that God will use me in the same way. Nikki

The most important thing God has shown me is just how much I needed to be quiet and listen! I have always been bad to interrupt with my thoughts before I even heard my husband out. I have always felt that I was never wrong. I always thought I knew best! I needed to listen to God and listen to my husband. He gave me James 1:19-20 early into the course. It was as if he burned those verses deep into my heart. I am learning to be more thoughtful and loving towards my husband. God is doing a wonderful work in my husband’s life, also. He has been without porn now for more than two months. We both are studying God’s word. We made the decision not to watch TV programs in the evening. Instead, we sit down at the dinning table nightly and hold hands, asking God to bless our food and the evening. We eat our meal by candlelight and talk over how the day went for both of us. After this, we change into our comfy clothes and settle into our bedroom to read and study. We talk over what we both are learning and just have a relaxing time together. It is nice spending time together talking rather than watching TV all evening. For us, this has really been a blessing. Setting Captives Free has really been a blessing to my husband and me! At times when I say something he will smile and remind me that that is not being very submissive! Or he might smile and remind me that those words coming from me don’t sound very loving! We have never been as open with each other about everything in all our years of marriage. It is nice praying together for others, and our life together. We have never done this before! I have always dreamed of this. I thank God for allowing us to go through this and giving us the oppotunity to grow and learn. We both ask His forgiveness and pray that He will use us to His glory. If we can minister to just one person, and help them with our testimony it will have all been worth it all. Thanks to Tanya for responding to my questions, especially in the beginning. I really appreciate her and all the SCF course has done. May God bless you. Sue N.

When I first discovered my husband's sin, I wanted to take the kids and leave. I was very bitter and hurt. I was angry not only at him, but also at God. I kept asking why God would allow this to happen to me. Ay first I did not want to enroll in this course because I felt like I was not the one with the problem. However, after a lot of prayer, I enrolled. This course has totallly changed my life. I never viewed some of the things I was doing in my life as sin toward God and my husband. I thank God every day that He led both my husband and me to this site. It has changed my marriage and the way I view my role as an excellent wife. Elise

I started doing this course after my boyfriend recommended it to me. He was going through the mens course and I think he felt I may be able to better understand where he was coming from and what he was stuggling with if I went through this course. I don't think either of us realized how much this course would actually be about looking at my own life and where I may need to change and improve. I have faithfully submitted each of my lessons to my boyfriend and it was really a wonderful opportunity for us to communicate and be open with one another. I think we are both closer now and have a better relationship than ever. I think it really helped me to see where I have been bitter and helped me to get rid of bitterness, have more purity in my own life, and be more the woman God wants me to be. I am very thankful for this course and for those who put this site together and to the mentors and other women who have submitted testimonies that have encouraged me in my walk with the Lord and my relationship with my boyfriend. It is hard for me to put into words my graditude to those who designed this website as I have seen awesome things happen in my life and the life of my boyfriend. Some people may think this study is for married women, but I am single and feel that I benefited greatly from it. I think it is a great study for single women with boyfriends who struggle with pornography. May God shower you with blessings Setting Captives Free staff! Melanie

Setting Captives Free has been a blessing in my life for many reasons. First and foremost , it has been a means to stregthen my relationship with the Lord, I know have a better understanding of my identity in Him. Secondly , it has helped me understand what God expects of me as a wife. Setting Captives Free allowed me to digest and understand all the truth that was in Martha Peace's book. Finally, this Bible study has helped me in my relationships with other people. I have learned how to give biblical reproofs and how to practice forebearance. Amy

This has been a wonderful course to me. Back in February, God started dealing with me about seriously praying for my husband. I didn’t know why, but I obeyed. Then in March, my husband shared with me his addiction to pornography and self-gratification. I had known about my husband’s interest in pornography in the past but I thought he quit. I didn’t know it was a full-fledged addiction! I did my best to come beside him and then, one day in July, the Lord touched my heart and showed me that I had buried my own pain. I found Setting Captives Free online while I was looking to learn more about pornagraphy addiction in Christian men. The course has been great. I have learned how I can be a better wife and position myself in a place so that I could honor God by being an excellent wife to my husband. In that, God has done a great work in my household. First, He exposed the work of the enemy and then He cleansed it. It wasn’t easy. Strongholds dont let go easily. There were many tears in this process, but things are much more open and honest between my husband and me now. I can truly feel oneness occurring through all of this. The Lord has been so faithful. He is showing me that by being OBEDIENT to Him that He will fight all my battles and make me victorious!! Thank you, Jesus, for Setting Captives Free. I know that I will continue to reap the benefits as I practice the foundational tools that I learned in this course. Aysha

Before enrolling in Settings Captives Free, my husband and I were trying to beat Satan at his own game. But my husband’s struggles increased, and I began to feel less and less adequate for him. Knowing that he was thinking about the images he had viewed on the Internet made me feel like I was not good enough for him. After enrolling in Settings Captives Free, we both began to learn about how to combat the battles that were occuring in my husband’s life and mind. I enrolled in the United Front study, and began to learn about dealing with my own feelings and struggles. God truly got the victory. Coreen

My life was a total mess when I found Setting Captives Free. My husband was involved in pornography, and my heart was so full of sorrow and pain that I didn’t know where to turn. I know now that God led me to the Setting Captives Free website. My husband and I both enrolled in Setting Captives Free online courses, and it has been amazing how our marriage has been healed through the Word of God. The mentor program is great. It felt so good to be able to talk to someone who had been through the same things that I had been through, and to know that I had a friend who was praying for me. I can truly say, after finishing this course, that I am thankful for the things that God has brought us through. I highly recommend this course to anyone who is hurting from a broken heart as a result of a sinning spouse. It has made me realize that God wants my life to glorify Him even through the storms of life. I am so thankful for my marriage being restored, and for the peace I have in my heart. Ronda

The Setting Captives Free, United Front course has been so incredibly helpful to me. I actually began the course before I even got married, partly at the request of my then fiancй and now husband, and also just to help me better understand my role as a wife. I was amazed at how much I learned. The greatest learning experience was that of submissiveness. I totally had the world’s view of submissiveness, viewing it as demeaning. However, after learning God’s view, my life has been changed. Granted, my husband and I are not through our struggles yet, but God is so helping me to do my part to His glory. Praise Him for bringing me to this study! - Katy

When I first came to Setting Captives Free, it was to see what my husband was looking at online. I was suspicious of everything and hopeless that things would ever be the same again. When I found things on our computer months before, he confessed to a long term addiction stemming back to when he was in grade school. After 3 years of marriage and a baby on the way, I felt lost and confused. He asked God and me for forgiveness, but after only a short time he fell and we went through it all over again. I looked everywhere I could think of to find some hope in our situation including other websites, our pastor and books. The only place I didn’t think to look, was the first place I should have. GOD! The United Front course was wonderful. It helped me to see the problems I was bringing to our marriage and the sins that were just ignored for so long. Through this course, God convicted me of so many things and our marriage has never been better. Our lives have changed so much since those horrible days. For instance, we had a beautiful baby girl and instead of our intimacy getting worse (as I hear children might cause) it is so much better. My mentor, Angie, was fantastic. She and I developed a bond and, believe it or not, her husband ended up as my husband’s mentor in the Way of Purity course. God was definitely at work! Thank you so much, Setting Captives Free, for your help and ministry. Sarah

I was referred to this course by an old pastor friend. I had found out early in my marriage of 28 years (so far) that my husband had a sin issue with pornography and lust. In that time I had patiently waited on the Lord to change him and read several books on Christian marriage and what God expected of me. Out of fear and ignorance, I never confronted him. I finally got to the point where I wanted guidance regarding bringing the matter before the church. That’s when I "confessed all" to this old pastor friend, and he directed me to this course. This course reinforced all that God had taught me through other means over the years. For the most part, I was living those things: being submissive, honoring my husband, giving him respect, controlling my tongue, not being angry. There were a few things the course added to my knowledge: resources for a wife’s protection, the responsibility of giving a biblical reproof and how to do it, and how to deal with fear, loneliness, and sorrow.My husband hasn’t agreed to take the Purity course yet but I am hoping he will. In the meantime, God has given me the tools I need to be an excellent wife, no matter what. Just last night, my husband came home from work and started getting angry about something (I can’t remember what, but it wasn’t directed toward anyone in particular). My first response was, "I guess I’ll just leave. I dont want to listen to this." Right away the thought came to me, "Deal with this by giving him a blessing." In the past, I would have gone off and sulked somewhere. This time, I stayed in the room and prayed for him. The difference in my countenance was amazing. God’s way is definitely the better way to live! Thanks to this course, I now have some practical tools to use when I need them. Margaret

I am so thankful God brought me to A United Front. I am a mentor for The Lord’s Table, but God impressed upon me the need to be involved in this ministry. A year ago, almost to the day, while sitting in a home school conference, the subject of pornography and lust came up and I knew in my heart God had just revealed the major problem in my marriage. My husband was sitting by my side and seemed frozen to his chair. As a result of the testimony which was shared, my husband recognized he was in bondage and addicted to pornography, lust and self-gratification. After seeking counsel with the speakers, he knew he had several issues to deal with. It was several months later before we agreed to do The Way of Purity and A United Front courses. God has used these courses in both of our lives to help us understand how to be set free from the bondage of pornography, lust and self-gratification. For me, the Excellent Wife book had been recommended to me several times over the past couple of years, but I was never totally committed to reading it. Through A United Front and The Excellent Wife, I have finally been able to recognize the anger and bitterness I have carried around for years because of the sin of my husband. But these were my sins, apart from his sins, because I chose to hold on to them even when I knew it was wrong. I am so thankful for the willingness of Mike and Jody to share their testimonies and give me an opportunity to see the hope and victory of their lives. My husband and I still have things we need to work through, but now we are able to see God at work in our lives and are willing to do whatever is necessary to maintain a pure walk with Christ and protect each other from the lusts of this world. I pray that God will continue to bless this ministry as they seek to provide opportunities for those in bondage to understand Gods desire to love us and set us free from our sins. Debbie

I searched the Internet for hours that day. "There HAD to be something to help him," I thought. My husband’s involvement in porn came as a complete shock to me a few days earlier. When I learned of the extent of his involvement in porn, it devastated me. His lie to me when I discovered the websites on his computer was "It was the first time..." Later, I learned it was a problem that had been ongoing for more than two years - TWO YEARS! How could I have been so dumb! I really didn’t know WHAT to do. After all, I looked up to this guy - my hubby, as a great, well-rounded Christian. Finding out about his involvement with porn was like he had slapped me in the face a billion times - except it seemed even worse than that to me - much worse. The days that surrounded my initial finding out weren’t that great. I spent time crying, moping around, feeling sorry for myself. I wondered about leaving him, finding solace in another man and hurting him back as he had hurt me. It was then I found Setting Captive Free on the Internet. I am SO glad I did. Right away, I got my husband online and he got on his way with the purity courses to help him out of this pornography pit. I thought to myself that he’s on his way to recovery and all I had to do was find out now WHY he got into all this in the first place. I searched the Internet pretty much daily. I visited articles about understanding the male mind and what men think about porn. All this "research" just made me more upset and made me feel more self-conscious about my own body. I knew deep inside that the only way to feel better about this whole mess was to lean on God, and it was then I decided to look into the United Front course at Setting Captives Free for myself. I skimmed over some of the days from the course, and found out about the book "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace. I went out that afternoon to a local Christian book store and purchased it, and began reading right away. Throughtout the studies with United Front I have had many eye-opening experiences. Not only has this course helped me in calming my fears and put things in perspective, but it has also helped me re-evaluate my whole life in general. I realized that how I was reacting to my husband’s involvement with porn was just as much of a sin in God’s eyes as his obvious sin was! It is SO easy for us humans to categorize sin. Adultry of the mind MUST be a BAD, BAD sin....or is it just as much of a sin as holding a grudge or being unwilling for forgive? I learned again that ALL sin is sin in God’s eyes and he hates it all! The good news in all of this is that when I started this course I was considering all sorts of wrong "solutions" to this mess we were in. Now I know for sure that this whole process has been just a large building block for our relationship and one that is bringing us closer together and making us stroger. Of course, I wish a million times over he had never been involved with porn - I don’t think any woman would want to have her husband look lustfully at anyone else but them. But, I have learned that, indeed, my husband is not perfect - neither am I - neither are you, for we all sin from time to time. God has an over-abundance of forgivesness from his deep well that never runs dry. I know He has used it for me many, many times and I must in return use it for others too - not just my husband. I am still working on my roller coaster of emotions - that is almost a given when something like this is discovered, although the highs and lows are much more leveled out now. This course has helped me SO much in discovering what to do to help him and, in turn, helping myself with my wounded emotions and fears. I would probably still be wallowing in my sorrows and being bitter about this whole situation if it weren’t for taking this 60-day course. It has been a blessing for me, personally. Internet porn will continue to lure in many men as statistics tell us - even the "good" men in our churches - well over half of them! Satan is out there like a roaring lion ready to pounce and devour our marriages. We must fight back and keep our marriages strong - fight back with good instead of evil, with blessings instead of curses, with love instead of hate. Only then will the power of God be shown and the glory be given to Him. I am thankful that I stumbled upon Setting Captive Free - it has been a blessing to me emotionally and has strenghtened our marriage. I am looking to the future now and not looking back. God is a soverign God and will never allow anything in our lives that we cannot handle - that is his promise and He always keeps his promises. Sharon

Setting Captives Free has been a life-changing course. When my husband told me about his struggle with and addiction to pornography for the fourth time, I was ready to tell him to leave. He discovered Setting Captives Free, and enrolled in The Way of Purity course. My husband asked me to enroll in the United Front course and I reluctantly enrolled. My heart was broken, and I had never felt so alone. Being able to write about my feelings and receive godly input and advice from my mentor helped me to open my heart once again to my husband. Reading Scripture and the book, "The Excellent Wife," was an amazing healing for me. My husband and I have been through a very difficult time in our marriage. However, through the grace of God and the guidance of this course, we have a marriage restored. My husband and I read the Bible and pray together every morning and are looking forward to the rest of our lives together. We have both decided to beome mentors at Setting Captives Free, and will hopefully be able to use our difficult experience, with the grace of God, to help guide others. Nicole

When I came to your website 60 days ago, I had lost all hope that I would ever be able to trust my husband again. We had been together for almost 10 years and married for almost 7 of those years. We dedicated our lives to God over 6 years ago and loved each other very much, but the devil had attacked my husband, and he had fallen for the lies and sin of adultery. When I discovered that he was having an affair and that he had, for the third time, been unfaithful, I asked him to move out and he complied. Weeks later, he ended his 4-month-long affair with another woman, asked me for another chance, and I agreed to meet with one of our pastors with him. Although I still loved him very much, I saw no hope that our marriage could be repaired. Our pastor (Pastor John Votaw) recommended your website for us both, recommending "The Way of Purity" for my husband and "A United Front" course for me. Through the last 60 days, we have both worked our courses, sought help and guidance from God, counseled with our pastor and others, and worked at rebuilding what the devil stole from us. Four weeks ago, my husband and I re-said our vows in our pastor’s office and began living together again. The real miracle, however, is that our marriage has been "more than" healed, it has been totally renewed and has surpassed even my wildest dreams of what it could be. My husband and I are now best friends as well as being the husband and wife God made us to be to one another. We share every area of our life with each other and are truly "one flesh" in body, spirit, and mind. I still do not know how God, along with your courses, has taken us from the pit that we were in to where we are today, but I am awe-struck by the miracle that has occurred. I would like to thank God, Setting Captives Free for freely sharing your wonderful classes with any who desired help, my mentor, Katie, for all of her words of wisdom, encouragement, and understanding, Our Pastors at Victory Church in Oklahoma City, especially Pastor John Votaw, my accountability partners and wonderful friends, Jolynn and Will and Tee for always being there with a shoulder, words of wisdom, and abundant love and caring, and all of those out there who have prayed for our marriage.

When I first started this course, I was in a lot of pain. I was hurt so deeply, there was a hopeless feeling about my marriage. This course helped me realize my sin and not to focus so much on my husband’s sin. I could see, through God’s eyes, how he wanted me to change, instead of focusing on how my husband needed to change. It has made a big impact on my life. I realized that I was putting my husband above God in my life, and God has changed me, my mind, attitude and behavior. Yes, I am not perfect and I have bad days, but when I give it to Christ, He sees me through it step by step. I have not only seen changes in myself, but also in my husband, who is taking The Way of Purity course. I am grateful for Setting Captives Free for all their support and help. It has been what I needed. You are a tremendous ministry to those of us hurting. Thank you so much. Angie

"When my husband originally confessed his addiction to pornography and self-gratification to me, I felt hopeless, helpless, and completely lost. I reacted by crying, raging, and even threatening to leave. Beyond that I had no idea what to do. My husband asked me for help, but I had absolutely no idea how to begin helping him when I felt so utterly betrayed. After his initial confession, he stayed free from pornography for five months, mainly out of fear of what I would do. Several months afterward, after much prodding, my husband confessed that he had returned to pornography and self-gratification. Again, I felt betrayed but I knew this time, I had to do something different. I began to read everything online and in print that I could find, at the very least to try to understand how my husband could do such a thing to me. Through all my reading and studying, the first thing I had to deal with and understand was that this sinful habit was not something he was doing to hurt me, it actually had nothing to do with me. After a few days of consuming myself with looking for answers, my husband came to me and said he was going to start an online study called Setting Captives Free. He pointed me to the companion course for wives. We agreed to be committed to the course and become each others’ accountability partners. Everyday we sent each other our answers which opened up great discussions. We were both concerned that 60 days was a long commitment, but agreed that we would take it one day at a time. We have both now successfully completed the course, and I cannot even begin to explain how much growth we have experienced in such a short 60 days. My husband finally feels like he has experienced true freedom. I am beginning to understand what God expects from me as a wife, and how to respond to circumstances in a God-honoring way. Because God has started a work in both of us and both our hearts are being changed and renewed, our relationship finally feels whole."

When the numbness of the shock wore off from finding out that my husband had been a slave to pornography and self-gratification for many years, I found myself hurt, confused, angry, betrayed, jealous and full of questions. Because my husband was enrolled in The Way of Purity, I thought everything would be immediately OK. It was the beginning for him of coming out from the bondage to pornography and, for me, it was another whole issue going on of how to deal with the hurt I felt. I was totally miserable.

I enrolled in the United Front, and it let me know there was hope. God's Word was my comfort and encouragement. It revealed to me much about my own weaknesses, the Lord's character and His faithfulness. There's been a restoration in our marriage. Over time, the Lord has brought healing to my soul - like a balm of Gilead being applied. He cares for me like the Good Shepherd He is. The Lord has given me peace in my heart. The Lord abideth faithful and He will never leave me nor forsake me. "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today and forever." Hebrews 13:8

The Lord has burdened my heart to help other women who may be going through the same situation I did, who feel there's no hope. I want to point them to the Savior and His Word, where they will find comfort and healing.

"Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable." Psalms 145:3

"I started this course, desiring to better support my husband. I am the one who has been changed! Without realizing it, I had become a slave to many of the worldly philosophies of womanhood. I, too, wanted to 'have it all'. God has humbled me, brought me through some days of rebellion and He is molding into an 'excellent wife'. Our good marriage is becoming better. I praise God for renewed intimacy with Himself and with the wonderful man He created to be my 'exemplary husband'.

"It is heartbreaking to think about the pain many wives face on a daily basis. The course brought that front and center, offering biblical counsel to them. United Front has been used by God in a powerful way in our home and marriage. It covers the whole gammit - providing an effective resource for women in good marriages, for those in mediocre relationships, as well as those living in a hell on earth.

"I continue to be amazed at the way God has used, and IS USING, the various courses of Setting Captives Free in our family. Thank you, Mike and Jody, for your willingness to become vulnerable to and share your experiences with others; for your obedience and the faith to begin Setting Captives Free.

"Your ministry is annointed by God. Thanks to my mentor, Amelia. She provides a wonderful balance between her own personal experience and biblical counsel."

I have caught my husband with P&M and other sexual sinful things numerous times over the past five years ago. Each time my heart would grieve even more, never healing from the times before. I am a Christian, and love God with all my heart. God is the reason I have gotten this far. The last time I caught my husband in sin, I had had enough. I asked him to leave and to seek biblical counseling. Our pastor advised my husband to start the Setting Captives free course. I love my husband, and wanted to do what I could to help him, so I enrolled in the course as a means to help him. I then realized it was me who was sinning and needed to be helped because I was harboring resentment, anger, fear, and anxiety. All I could do was to think about what my husband had done. I now know that I was so wrong in my actions and my way of thinking. I once thought I was putting my trust in God, but I was still trying to fix things on my own. The anger inside of me was tearing me apart and I never had a peaceful day, due to my fear. Through this course, my eyes have been opened to my sins. I was so wrong to think I could fix things or keep my anger, fear, and sadness bottled up. My husband and I are doing much better now. We still have a long way to go, but God truly is in charge, and I know He will work everything out for the good. I give God all the glory! Praise God and thank you, Setting Captive Free. This course has opened my eyes and given me tools to be the biblical wife God has always intended for me to be. There is such peace in my heart. Now I know as long as I am obedient to My Father in heaven, always seeking after His will, no matter what the future holds, there will be peace in me through Jesus Christ. I am so grateful for your precious course. God Bless. Bobbie

I would describe myself as a headstrong woman, very much a leader, who likes to be in control. So, I struggled with submissiveness to my husband and, when I found out about his sin, I really did not want to be submissive to him at all. Why should I be, when he was in sin? The Bible study set a lot of things straight for me, such as why I should be submissive, how I can be and not be a door mat, and how to build up my husband. A lot of conviction took place in my own life. I realized quickly that no matter the sin, my husband and I both were in it deep. Together, along with God’s grace, we have made it through. My husband is still working on his course, but has dedicated himself to not going back to sexual sin. I still pray he will see the full effect and impact of what God can do in his life. If not, I will press on doing what God has called me to do. Through the study, I learned how to communicate more effectively in holding him accountable instead of nagging, how to pray more specifically for him and my family, and give blessings instead of vengeance. It helped to bring me out of despair into hope from thinking, "I can’t handle this" to "God will give me grace to handle this." And, praise be to God... I can handle it. Pamela

"I know God was the one who brought this course to me, and He has begun to show me many areas that I needed His Word to change. I appreciate that my mentor, Debbie, always reinforced the biblical truths in the lessons, no matter how hard they may have been to hear and apply. It brought more humility into my thinking, and God has brought more of His grace to change my life." Cheryl

"Before, I knew that I was to be a submissive wife because that’s what God wants, but I wasn’t willing to do it. I had several struggles with "The Excellent Wife" book at first, but once I got past my own issues, and looked at it scripturally, with an open heart, I found myself being broken and humbled before my husband and God. Now, I find myself thinking of ways I can bless my husband, rather than make myself feel better because "I deserve it." God has used this course to help me understand His perfect plan not only for me, but for all of God’s children." Jess

"I started this course an angry, bitter, resentful wife, and leave this course a forgiving, forgiven, joyful, contented, and very grateful wife. This course has helped me to see that my sins of anger, bitterness, and withholding affection were just as grievous in Gods eyes as my husband's sins. It has helped me to focus on my relationship with God, rather than dwelling on the feelings of hurt and betrayal. I have learned how to pray, what to pray for, and how to love my husband as God has intended. The support of my mentor, and the words in the lessons and book have been invaluable to me. By the grace of God, my husband and I are now closer than ever before, and the walls between us and around my heart have been torn down. God has blessed me with a beautiful, loving marriage, and a happy home once again. Thanks be to God for Setting Captives Free!" Ginna

"I must say that when I initially found Setting Captives Free for my husband, I was excited about the things that I read. Then my getting hooked up with A United Front for the spouses has been exceptional. My mentor, Tanya, was wonderful. She was very helpful and gave lots of good advice, in everything always focusing on giving God the glory. As I did the Bible Study "The Excellent Wife," I was truly amazed at how the majority of things in that book God had revealed to me years ago, so I was already doing it said we, as wives need to do. The one thing this study did for me that God had never revealed to me before, was the WHY I need to be an excellent wife. This book is very thorough, and I was excited to be able to share things with my husband that I had learned. He went through his course as I went through mine, so we were continuously sharing with each other. Setting Captives Free is a phenomenal course. It is filled with God's Word, the mentors genuinely care and want to see us succeed. Thank you for all the time and energy that goes into this ministry. I will definitely recommend it and look forward to being a mentor myself." Bonnie

"When I started this course, I had thoughts that I would somehow learn how to 'fix' my husband. I was hurt, angry, bitter, full of disgust, and withdrawn from my husband both physically and emotionally. I felt dirty and cheap - transferring myself into what he was viewing on the Internet and avoiding my husband at all costs. I had resolved in my mind and heart that this was just the way it was going to be. Throughout this course, I learned that I can't 'fix' my husband, but what I learned about was staring me in the face - my own sin. And it was not until I faced my own sin, confessed and repented of it that I could begin the journey to be the wife that God intended and what my husband needs me to be. The Lord has shown me many aspects of my own behaviors and attitudes of my heart that needed to be changed - not my husband, but me. I had no idea what a godly, submissive wife was, and I thank the Lord that He has shown me. I look at my husband with a renewed heart, not with a heart of disgust and self-interest as I had been. By applying His Word, and trusting in Him, I have seen what was a broken down, superficial marriage be transformed into a beautiful fragrant rose. There will be thorns along the way, and with the grace of God we will prevail and get through them. God is pouring His love and blessings upon us and I am ever thankful to Him for taking this evil, what Satan had intended on using for destruction, and turning it into a glorious good for our marriage. I thank my mentor, Sheila, for the support and prayers, and those at Setting Captives Free for bringing this ministry to those of us who are searching for answers and needing direction." Lori

"If someone had ever been giving out a crown for the queen of anger/rage/bitterness/hate, I would have been crowned! When I found out that my husband was addicted to porn, I was full of all these sinnful emotions. I was ready to end my marriage. I had thoughts that it would be better for me if my husband were dead, then to be going through this. I couldn’t even pray, because I was so mad at God for allowing this to happen to me. Someone told me about Setting Captives Free, and I came here thinking I didn’t need to be fixed. I’m not the one sinning; it’s my husband that’s got sin in his life. Boy, was I ever awakened to how sick my own spirit was. Through this course, my mentor and the wonderful book ‘Excellent Wife,’ God has broken all those strongholds in my life. I realized that my sins were no different then my husband’s sexual sins. I was able to forgive my husband and my marriage has been restored. I can now praise God, which I once couldn’t do, for all the hurt and heartache I’ve been through. My marriage today is better then it has ever been. To God belongs all the glory!" Stacie

I am a pastor’s wife. My husband and I are both pastors’ kids. When I found pornography on my computer’s Internet history, I felt my world crumble around me. This was what was supposed to happen to the people in our church that we counseled, not to us! I had given birth to our 2nd child just three months before I found it. I was confused, devastated, and felt totally alone in my marriage of 6 years. Praise be to God, I have come through what I did. I have come to realize what an awful sinner I was. I did not understand my role as a wife despite being a pastor’s wife and counseling other wives! I was disrespectful, disobedient, impatient, and controlling. In no way have I evolved into a perfect wife, but I sure do know what is expected of me now and am striving daily to be the wife God has called me to be. I am so thankful for Setting Captives Free and for Martha Peace’s book, The Excellent Wife. There have been countless times where I shut the door of my bathroom, sat on the floor, and cried while reading this book - searching for answers and morsels of truth from God’s word. Listening to the wisdom in this book, I’m trying desperately to obey the commands given through God’s word. The resounding theme I seem to feel is that God uses things in our life to shape us into who He wants us to be. He allows us to go through things in order to be drawn closer to Him. The process is painful, and only through prayer and the grace of God have I made it to where I am. We have to learn how to respond to everything around us in a godly manner, especially our husbands. God did not intend for my husband to become addicted to pornography, but He has taken this ugly thing and turned it into something so beautiful. He is using it to make me a better wife, a better mom, a better friend, and a better Christian. Kelly

I came across Setting Captives Free in an unusual way. I thought my husband was having an affair, and started logging into his e-mail account without telling him. He had signed up for The Way of Purity course, and a response e-mail was sent to him. I went to the Setting Captives Free link, read about United Front, and signed up a few days later. I believe it was the day I signed up, or shortly after, that my husband and I finally talked about his problem with porn and my sneaking through his e-mail account. It was tough to start talking about everything. There was so much to take in, and a lot of it was hurtful. But this course helped me to realize that with God we can overcome any and all evil. Only through trust in Him do we have the ability to go through any trial set before us and come out with a stronger relationship with God and a stronger relationship with our spouse. God has worked through my husband and I so much since we started these courses. Not only is our relationship stronger, but He has directed us to action in our church. My husband, along with another church member, has started the Foundation for Conflict Resolution and Community Service. It is a new ministry at our church, and I pray God is glorified and uses the foundation to reach out to people in our community. The other wonderful way God has used this trial is that we have started The Excellent Wife study group at our church. I felt that, since this course and The Excellent Wife book have helped me tremendously, maybe others in our church were experiencing similar trials. We have had a wonderful turnout, and I have recommended Setting Captives Free to several people. In closing, none of us is perfect and we all fail in our journey. I think the most important thing to think about when we are faced with any trial is that God is there and we must turn to Him for wisdom, strength, courage, patience and, most of all, love. "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a mulititude of sins." 1Peter 4:8 "...in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen" 1Peter 4:11 Teri

"When I started this course, my husband and I had been struggling with his sexual sin. Because of the high legal consequences he had to pay for this, I had deep hurts. Although God had brought us through, I had much sorrow, shame, and a general bad attitude toward my husband. This course has shown me what a blessing my husband is to me. I have let down my resentment and picked up love and encouragement. The Lord also has helped my husband through the men’s course and I’m so grateful. I’m also thankful for Judy, a very good friend of mine who met with me face-to-face as I went through this course, Her willingness to meet with me helped and encouraged me. My mentor, Tanya, had so many good suggestions and I appreciate her time, as well." Sherry.

"My husband and I had been married a year and a half, and we had a brand new baby boy. We were just starting to get adjusted to the new lifestyle of parents, when my husband called me to come home from shopping. He confessed to me that he had been involved in lustful thoughts and masturbation. This had happened a couple of times before in our marriage, and I knew he had struggled with it before we were married, but I didn’t really understand the grip the sin had on his heart. After he told me, we were both devastated. Then he said he was enrolling in The Way of Purity course at Setting Captives Free. I checked out the website and found the spouse course. When I came to this course, I was feeling very alone in my situation. My mentor, Ginna, was a gentle and loving spirit to me from the first. It was a relief to know that other women had been through this and experienced the grace of God in such a tremendous way. As I started the lessons, I realized that my husband and I were walking two separate spiritual lives, and if I was going to help him wage his battle against sin, I was going to have to be prepared. I was going to work to be. . . an "Excellent Wife." While I read Martha Peace’s book, I realized that sin was in my life that needed stomping out. Through the process of looking up the thousands of Bible verses used in her book, I began to realize, identify, and fight the sins in my life that were blocking my intimacy with my Holy Father and also my husband. Pride was my biggest challenge from the get-go. I learned to read Scripture and let the Holy Spirit convict me of my self-centered thoughts and actions. I gained a deep, Bible-based understanding of submission to God and my husband and, by the grace of God, I began to practice having a humble and gentle heart toward others. I was spurred on toward unity with other believers in my local church. By far, the most enriching part of this course has been its firm Scripture base. I fell in love with the Bible and how it had the answers for me to properly love my God, my husband, and everyone else. I began to seriously pray for the first time in my life on a regular basis, praising God, confessing, interceding for my husband and others, and learning to grow spiritually. All this has helped me set aside my sinful, self-centered thoughts and dwell on "whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise." (Philippians 4:8) As my husband went through his Way of Purity lessons and I went through my United Front lessons, we both grew in love and knowledge of the Word and in spiritual unity with each other. Through our spiritually intimate conversations with each other, I gained a deeper understanding of what his struggle with lust had been like over the years. Slowly, we learned ways to pray together and for each other, use Bible verses to encourage each other, and we held each other accountable. The blunt honesty was tough for both of us, and sometimes still is, but God always honors us with a deeper understanding of each other and grace for each other. Above all, I am so thankful for a God of grace. This mighty God, who is bigger than any obstacle life can toss in my path, chose me to be His daughter, and longs for intimacy with me. He truly has blessed me, "with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ" (Ephesians 1:3) and I have learned how to let God’s Word and the Holy Spirit in me fight the sin in my life. I am so humbly grateful for the atoning work of Jesus Christ on the cross so that I could be His child and a member of His body of believers. I truly believe that Setting Captives Free is an active part of that body, using the Word of God to challenge believers to trust and obey God and be "free indeed" from the sin that "so easily entangles us." (Hebrews 12: 1) I am encouraged to run the race set before me, enduring it for the joy set before me. Praise God for His grace and for the encouraging group of believers here at Setting Captives Free. 1 Peter 1:6-9 "In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls." Diana

"I began this course in desperation, sorrow, anger, and fear. My view of God was too small, and my view of my situation distorted. I was focused more on what my husband had done, than on myself and my sinfulness. Though I had read and even taught The Excellent Wife book about ten years ago, the careful and prayerful study of the book kept me focused on God and my need for Him foremost for my own sin and daily walk, and then as a helper to deal with and respond righteously and kindly to my husband. The daily encouraging counsel and prayer from my mentor were such a help. She always began by quoting Bible verses that focused on God’s promises and faithfulness, and ended with the assurance that she was praying for me. Meril, my mentor, gave me a godly example to follow, but I could always tell that she was encouraging me to trust the Lord and His word, not to depend on her or anyone else. More than ever in my life, I am thankful and have benefited from God’s provision for an older woman like Meril to teach me how to love my husband as instructed in Titus 2. Moreover, I think my relationship with my Savior is stronger and deeper than ever before. By God’s grace, I hope to be an excellent wife for His glory and my husband’s good and pleasure. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future. By God’s grace, I hope He finds me faithful each and every day. Thank you to each of you at Setting Captives Free for being used of God to provide such a helpful ministry. This is the first time in our married life that I truly believe we are both dealing with our relationship and our sin in a thoroughly biblical manner. Please keep on keeping on by God’s grace. I have already referred several people to the ministry. Thank you, thank you, thank you so very much to each of you." Julie

Coming into the Setting Captives Free course, I was blown away by my husband’s admission that he was addicted to pornography. I started the women’s course before my husband started The Way of Purity study. At the beginning, I was very self-righteous about the lack of "big sins" in my own life, and ashamed of my husband and his issue. In addition to my husband’s addiction, I was also dealing with my daughter’s sexual abuse by a babysitter. As a result, I was very angry with men in general. It became very clear through the Bible studies that bitterness and pride were very entrenched in my heart. I was challenged to take ownership for my response to what has happened, rather than acting like a victim. With my course, outside counseling, and my husband’s participation in The Way of Purity course, I feel like my husband and I are really "new creations" in Christ. I feel like a newlywed after 10 years in this marriage. Brittney

Thank you again for this wonderful ministry. Your commitment to helping others overcome habitual sin is inspiring and encouraging. God bless you! Becky

"When I started this course, my marriage was at a crossroads. My husband and I had been in counseling for four months and, for the first time, I really truly believed that his commitment to sexual purity was real. Then, God placed proof of his continued pursuit of pornography in my lap and I saw that he never had stopped. You can imagine the pain, betrayal, and shame I felt. On Day 1 of the United Front course, I was wallowing in self-pity, unwilling to look at my own actions. I was angry, bitter, and drinking to numb the pain. Even through all that, God spoke so clearly, revealing my next step. He is so patient. Living with my husband’s sexual sin had made me feel worthless, ugly, powerless, and foolish. Day by day, through this course, God has revealed amazing things to me. I have tremendous value in His eyes; I am a precious daughter of God. The Lord sees me as beautiful, comparing me to nobody else. Though I cannot control what my husband does, my actions do influence him. I can live to honor Christ, regardless of the situation. I have seen this obedience be blessed immensely with grace, mercy, and wisdom. There is so much "conventional" wisdom out there. The United Front course gave me a hope that exceeds anything I could get from a worldly perspective. Sixty days later, my husband is truly on the path to purity. How do I know it’s real this time? Because I have become someone trustworthy to share with, he tells me when he stumbles. Because I have become forgiving, he is humble about the damage that he has caused. Because I have become gentle, he is protective of me. Because I have become submissive, he has changed from a rebellious boy to a strong man. Because I am honest about my fears, he has become my friend. I always wanted my husband to pursue me. Now, I just want him to pursue Christ. Starting the changes with me, God has drawn my husband close to Himself. As a result, he sees me through God’s eyes now. The changes are truly amazing. Praise God!" Cristi

Is life in Christ supposed to be a struggle? Do Christians really struggle with sexual sin? I often wondered this, as I brooded over my Christian husband’s past sexual sin. My husband was entangled with adultery and daily online pornography/self gratification. I stumbled across my husband’s secret sin and unleased my fury upon him. Married for only three years...is Christian marriage supposed to be this way? I have always set my own personal standards, and I started to question my marriage and God’s purpose for allowing this to happen to me. I sought "Christian" counsel and became more confused. Was I supposed to suffer this way, and could I ever forgive this wrong against me? Through the Setting Captives Free United Front course, I learned that my Christian standards for living were simply my standards, not the Lord’s. I am humbled by the teachings of Christ presented in Martha Peace’s book "The Excellent Wife." I have never heard this godly wisdom; not from my local church, or friends/mentors. Why are so many not knowledgeable about being a Christian wife/husband? Since taking The Way of Purity course, my husband is walking uprightly before God, and has made a conscious choice to be rid his old self and pursue Christ and His commandments. He has been pornography-free/self gratification-free for almost three months. My husband and I were captive to our own way of being a Christian. As a result, we suffered with sin-sickness. I was unforgiving, cold and bitter, and I chose to push my hurt "under the rug" until I wanted to "pick a fight." I’m thankful for Setting Captives Free online ministry. I have a new understanding about what it means to be a Christian, and I am pursuing God’s promise to make me an excellent wife daily. Thank you for laboring in love for those who need freedom from habitual sin. -Asia

When I first found A United Front course, I was very hurt. I had found a couple of pornographic e-magazines and e-comics and found links in the history on our computer to pornography and was shocked. I didn’t realize that my husband still looked at pornography. I knew he was exposed to it as a boy, but I thought that when he became a Christian that he gave it up. I didn’t realize that this could be an addiction. I was angry, how could he do this to me? How could I ever measure up to those airbrushed women? How dare he? I never looked at pornography. I felt cheated on. I thought our sex life was getting better. I knew that I have had problems in the intimacy department of our marriage, but I was trying to fix that. I thought that it had been much better in the last year, for sure. So I was shocked and hurt and felt betrayed. I confronted him and his words hurt me badly. I couldn’t sleep, and so I looked for advice on the Internet, I went to another Christian website and found the link to Setting Captives Free. I figured that I would give A United Front course a try, and see if I could get my husband to try The Way of Purity course. I thought that A United Front course would show me how to help my husband get over his addiction, and it does, but more importantly, it helped me to see that I needed help with what it meant to be a godly wife. I was failing miserably in the role that God gave me as a wife and mother. To begin with, I was overwhelmed by the hurt and shame of my husband’s addiction to pornography, now I am overwhelmed by the blessing that it caused in my life. Our marriage is unbelievable. It’s exciting now, and I am incredibly in love with my husband, more than I have ever been in our 16-year marriage. God has healed me of my sexual inhibitions with my husband, which happened because of being molested as a child. I look forward to making love instead of thinking "Do I have to?" God is in the buisness of making miracles happen. I know this because of the miracle He performed in our lives. I am a new woman, and my husband is 60 days free from pornography. He is much happier, and spends much more time with us as a family than on the computer. God used this course and The Way of Purity to change our lives dramatically! I read the testimonies before I started this course and thought, "That’s impossible in 60 days," but here I am at the end of it and feeling the same way. Wow!. I can’t thank my mentor enough. Meril answered my emails every day and encouraged me so much, thank you. I also wouldn’t be the same without taking this course and reading the book The Excellent Wife. Thank you so much, Setting Captives Free. May God bless you for setting up this site and helping so many people whose marriages seemed hopeless and doomed to failure. Tanis

I began this course very angry. I pleaded with God for three weeks, "I do not want to be married to an internet porn addict!", but it was the trial in my life, and I finally gave the whole matter over to God. I continued to do this course and God showed me so much in my own life that needed to be repented of and changed. Wrong motives, wrong priorities, but most of all wrong thinking. I read the testamonies of other women who said "my husband and I have never been closer". I read this over and over and wondered "Will this ever happen to me?" At the very end of the course it did!! I am thankful for this whole trial now ... it has brought us closer to the Lord than ever before, and I feel more in love with my husband than ever before. I’ve forgiven him and he’s forgiven me, and with Gods presence in our lives we are going to seek to glorify Him in all we do from now on.

Wow! What a journey! When I first learned about Setting Captives Free, I was trying to come to grips with the fact that my husband had a problem with Internet pornography and that it was my responsibility to confront it. I explored the site, but for whatever reason did not enroll in A United Front right away. Instead I began my own study of the Bible to learn about confronting my husband. I became convicted that my attitude must be right - I must be most concerned with my husband’s salvation before confronting him. And I was convicted that I must humbly accept the outcome - no matter what it might be. This was a difficult pill to swallow. It took me three months to complete this study and for God to prepare me for the confrontation. Then one night God opened up the opportunity and I caught my husband viewing Internet pornography. Looking back now it was only by the grace of God that I was able to remain calm. In fact, that night my husband and I had one of the best, most open and honest conversations of our 14-year marriage. And, praise God, my husband agreed to enroll in the Way of Purity course. When he did, then I enrolled in A United Front, fully expecting to learn how and why these kinds of problems come up and how I could help my husband overcome. What I found in A United Front course was that I had a lot of my own problems to deal with. I had to come face-to-face with my own sinful ugliness. And in the process, I also came face-to-face with a God who loves and cares for me, with Jesus who paid the ultimate price for my sins, and with the biblical plan for marriage and the role of a wife. It was such a relief not to focus on my husband’s faults, but instead to learn how to be an excellent wife. God has truly blessed! Over the last 60 days I am so thankful that quality intimacy has been restored in our marriage. My husband has voluntarily begun to attend church with me consistently - even suggesting that we get involved with various church functions that before he wouldn’t even consider. We now pray and read the Bible together. And, we are more united in our goals and objectives than ever before. It has been amazing to see God at work. Truly this is something that God has done for us. And, we know that He has only just begun. He is continuing everyday to bring us closer to Him to each other and to His ideal for us. We are so thankful for the ministry of Setting Captives Free.

When I started the United Front course at Setting Captives Free, I had already had a year to try to work through my feelings and emotions. God graciously woke me up in the middle of the night to find my husband on the computer. I was suspicious, but it took me about two days to confront him. He admitted that he had been involved in pornography, but he had gone to one of our pastors the morning after I caught him on the computer. My husband had confessed his sin to him and he agreed to go to an accountability group called Celebrate Recovery. His attitude was, "everything’s OK now." I was furious, and everything was not OK. I felt betrayed and hurt; I did not know what to do. I thought I had taken all the necessary precautions to prevent this from happening. My husband agreed to stay off the computer unless I was there to put in the password, which only I knew. This worked well for almost two years, but then he had a setback. This time I did not get sinfully angry and sarcastic and mean. Because of what I learned in this course and The Excellent Wife, I was able to respond in a loving, yet biblical way, which totally shocked him. My husband is committed to purity and to our marriage. He is now taking the Way of Purity course and our marriage is wonderful. Thank you for your ministry. Courtney

When I first came to Setting Captives Free, I felt overwhelming sorrow over the discovery that my husband had a problem with pornography. I was discouraged, broken, hopeless and felt like I had no value. All of my insecurities were magnified. There was shame, loneliness, fear, and the feeling that I was not enough in any respect. I was living, but I was dead inside. I came to Setting Captives Free because I knew that if I remained in that painful, stagnant state it would be devastating for my children. I knew I needed to overcome. The United Front course allowed me to share my story with others who had been through it. I felt understood. As I received emails from my mentor, Bethany, and as I read the testimonies on the website, I began to see that I was not alone. Because of the shame, people tend to not talk about it, but it is happening all around us. Being able to share it here in a safe, pressure-free environment was such a blessing. I read many testimonies of women (including my mentors) that talked about the healing of their broken hearts and, as I read, it seemed that hope overflowed in their words. In the early days, I did not think it was possible, but I pressed on because it was worth a try and anything had to be better than the pain I was in. The first few weeks were very difficult, but as I read "The Excellent Wife" and began to apply the teachings, I began to feel my burden lifted and hope and life came back to me. I learned how to come against fear and doubt and how to put my trust in the Lord. One of my greatest lessons was that my security and worth had to come from Jesus. I had done that in words before this trial, but now I walk in it. I am of great value because I belong to Jesus and there is no shame in that! At times I continue to feel sorrow, but it is a godly sorrow that brings me to my knees for my husband, my children, myself and for others who have been affected by sexual sin. For those who are just starting this course or thinking about starting it, press on . . . there is hope, there is life, there is healing and there is restoration. Setting Captives Free is a wonderful ministry where the love and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ is alive and available!

The thing I loved about this course is that it showed me I have the choice of how I respond to this situation in my marriage. And, by God's help, I can respond biblically. The course also showed me that it's so easy to point the finger, but am I doing what I need to do, as Jason's wife? By God's grace, I will. But, if I'm consumed with pointing fingers, I definitely will not be doing what God called me to do--and that is being Jason's wife. No one else is anointed for that. Jason needs to know that I'm right next to him, fighting alongside of him. Since he desires to do what God wants him to do, he needs to know that his wife is for him and not against him. The last thing our marriage needs at this time is strife. Love never fails, and a marriage that is united opens the door to Love--which is God Himself. I want God in my marriage because there is nothing too difficult for Him, and He is the solution. I know He is on the scene because Jason and I have been a united front during this time.

Spouses

Welcome

Overview

Suspicious

What to do

Bible Study

Resources

Reading

Our Testimony

More Testimonies

Letters to Spouses