Setting Captives Free Testimonies

Breath of Life Testimony

My name is Cherie, and my mentor is Debbie. She has been a steadfast presence throughout my journey with Setting Captives Free, encouraging me with Truth and prayer. I am so thankful for time spent with her these last months! I grew up with smoking all around me. Back in the 70's, it was fairly common and socially acceptable. So it didn't really faze me that my dad smoked 2 packs a day and my mom smoked in secret. I myself never considered doing it, as I had set up for myself a list of do's and don't's that I felt made me who I was, and smoking was definitely on the list of don't's. Once I got into college and slowly started to realize that being an overachiever, "do good" at everything wasn't getting me anywhere (not to mention that the competition was bigger and it was harder to stand out!), I started my search for something to make life feel better. This would include years of promiscuity, drinking, gluttony, and the constant struggle to reclaim the lost years of high school where I was "really something". When I graduated from college, I consciously chose to leave the "do good" life behind, broke off my engagement, broke away from my career choice, and committed myself to a life of doing anything that didn't resemble my life previous. During this time, I started to smoke. Someone had left a pack of smokes at my place, so I decided to just smoke them. I continued to smoke my way through a short and failed marriage, years of gluttony, weight gain and a constant wonder of whether life would ever be "what it was back then". Somewhere in my 30's, God got my attention and slowly and sometimes painfully started to show me what was True. He prompted my heart to give up smoking a week before my baptism at my church. I thought my smoking days were over, until about a year ago. It started with the idea that I could just smoke a cigarette if I was stressed, then progressed to having just one after a hard day with the kids. Since my husband smoked, there were always cigarettes around, easy to get to, or I could always smoke his half smoked cigarettes without him even knowing. I spent a lot of nights on the back patio crying out to God to take this filthy habit from me, but I mostly wanted it gone so I wouldn't have to come clean to anyone I knew that I smoked. I hadn't yet gotten to a place of wanting it gone because of the way this sin separated me from my Father. Finally a friend told me about Setting Captives Free and The Lord's Table study. Little did she know that I was considering doing the Breath of Life study! God has used these last 4 months to change my heart, to help me realize that all I am and do is because He is good, He is patient, He is all the things I will never be apart from Him. And most importantly, I am less and less wanting to compete with Him for the glory that is only His to have! Slowly I am learning that I haven't quit smoking to earn points with God, but rather, in His strength and grace, I can choose to not smoke because it is sin, and it spoils what is greater to me...a life lived in submission to Christ and His lovely ways. I am so thankful for the freedom God has brought to my life through the Setting Captives Free study!!!

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